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Back Page: Outer Banks Edition

Back Page: Outer Banks Edition

Erin Duane '20 & Bennett Kruse '21 When the only two Backpage writers, Erin and Bennett, sat down at our 11am zoom call Wednesday morning, both of us refused to talk about quarantine again. We’re sick of it. We’re bored of it. We just want to talk about Outer Banks and why we are literally both obsessed, so here you go: p.s. This will not contain spoilers but also just watch the freaking show plz Something Isn’t Making Sense Why are all of the actors so old??? Literally no 16 years olds look like that. The actor who plays John…
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My Royal Demotion

My Royal Demotion

Erin Duane '20 As some of you may know, I am the youngest of six. This means that for the past two years I have been an only child, but with all the perks of being the youngest. I was a queen. I had my parents’ undying love and attention and I was able to do almost anything that I wanted. But...that all changed when COVID-19 hit and my siblings all decided to move back in.  A house that is typically filled only by my voice is now crowded with the sounds of others’ Zoom calls. Do I have an…
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The Gays DO NOT Claim Joe Exotic

The Gays DO NOT Claim Joe Exotic

Bennett Kruse '21 Joe Exotic. An icon who owns a farm full of tigers, makes bomb music videos, and has somehow managed to have 3 straight husbands. He made us laugh, he made us cry, but, is he really the gay icon we think he is? Here is the scoop from someone on the inside. I'm like the Lorax except I don't speak for the trees, I speak for the gays. Here is a list of reasons why the gays do not claim Joe Exotic. Let’s try to disregard the animal abuse and get into the meat of things (sorry…
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Haikus from Quarantine

Haikus from Quarantine

Bennett Kruse '21 picking up new skills.maybe I should make Haikus?I’m gonna pop off. my sister is home.I hate you. clean the dishes.do your part for once. sitting here on zoom,taking a virtual class.dance class in my bed. it’s only day 9.should I dye my hair? no, sir.i should cut my bangs i’m mad. my sister.she ate my Cocoa Krispies.my name was on it. alright, delete it.until tomorrow, my ass.it IS tomorrow. this is really dumb.don’t write poems when you're bored. I have given up.
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Virtual Prom

Virtual Prom

Spencer Lee '20 & Lance Chou '20 For Juniors and Seniors at Sacred Heart, one of the most memorable experiences is always said to be prom. Many students will buy prom dresses/tuxedos months before the event is even scheduled, and there will be countless hours of preparation for the event. This year, this all changes. There will be no prom where students gather and socialize at a physical, tangible place. This year, students get to experience the next best thing: Virtual Prom. But before you go to Virtual Prom, you have to go through the most nerve wracking part -…
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Review: Formal Asks

Review: Formal Asks

Bennett Kruse '20 Formal season has come and gone, and the heteros were out here doing the most. We’ve seen it all. We’ve seen rose petals on the floor, we’ve seen candles, we’ve seen political signs. We’ve even seen Walker jump out of a box. Now my original thought I had was to write reviews and commentary about formal asks here at SHP, but after careful consideration from my private story I had to rethink (I’m not trying to get sent to MA for dragging some of these trash posters on a public forum). So here I go on a…
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Senioritis: The Search for a Cure

Senioritis: The Search for a Cure

Paul Komin '20 As the second semester begins to kick into high gear, it seems that many of our students here at SHP are doing just the opposite. High hopes that were built after months of hard work in the first semester, coupled with a rough transition out of Winter Break, have left many seniors feeling strong symptoms of “senioritis,” the infamous motivation and energy depleting illness that strikes in late winter every year. However, it seems that the faculty have been expecting such an epidemic and have already taken action against it, as many seniors have found that they…
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Global Warming

Global Warming

Spencer Lee '20 Global warming is a massive problem in our world. Carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases are constantly being released into our atmosphere through coal, oil, and natural gas power plants. While there is a ton of evidence for global warming, there are still many doubters that it exists. As Senior Lance Chou explains, “I don’t think global warming exists.” However, I am here to prove the doubters wrong. According to the weather app on the iPhone 7, on Friday, September 6th, there is supposed to be a high of 77 degrees Fahrenheit. By Friday, September 13th, there…
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Murder in the Cafeteria

Murder in the Cafeteria

Erin Duane '20 Young, innocent, awkwardly short, a freshman clings to their paper triangle that holds their pizza as they take a courageous step forward. Glancing to the left and to the right, they see no danger, but they are wrong. A woman, maybe a teacher...No! A senior enters the cafeteria. Fear strikes the freshman as the girl parades aimlessly towards the cereal. She casually twists the handle and fills her bowl with Fruit Loops. Grabbing milk on her way, the senior heads towards the checkout line, but not towards the back of it. The freshman takes a sharp inhale…
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Tik-Tok is Our Savior

Lance Chou '20 In a world plagued with climate change, gun violence, poverty, and corruption, the youth of the world turn to social media to distract themselves from the evils of society. Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and even the ever watching Facebook shed a positive light that allows users to express themselves freely online. Unfortunately, they all pale in comparison to TikTok. So what is TikTok you may ask? TikTok is a social media platform that enables users, known as TikTokers, to make short videos showing off their “talent,” superb lip-syncing, and comedic expression. So what’s the big deal? TikTok grants…
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